Forgiveness

Three Most Powerful Therapeutic Tools for Mental Health (in my opinion)

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Abstract light human brain, vector illustrationI am delayed in writing my blog because I wanted to have just the right timing. As some of you may know December 1 marks one year of official practice. I would like to take the time to reflect on three of the most powerful tools I have used and how they can help you get to where you want to go. I would also like to thank every patient that has walked through my doors. I have learned something from every person, and every story. I do not say this lightly and I truly mean it. It is through walking with each other that we ourselves can grow. Now, on to the three powerful therapeutic tools . . .

Control

Many people struggle with control and it can cause a lot of undo stress and anxiety. As some of my patients may know, having a type A personality can often result with these struggles with control. What I have found to be helpful is focusing on where your focus lies. If your focus is on what you cannot control, it can cause anxiety, fear, anger, and ultimately stress. However, if you focus on what you can control and shift your focus in these situations, it can help you to better manage these situations. A technique that I often use includes deep breathing and movement exercises (seat changes and hand washing). Control does not just stop here. Recognizing that you have the power to choose your mood should be a huge empowerment piece. You do not have to let your emotions dictate the day, but again shifting your focus can help (and yes I do recognize this is easier said than done, and some individuals may require further assistance in this area).

Positive Thinking

If you are a patient of mine, there is no doubt that you have heard about water, plants, crystal and sludge; and how our thoughts and words can either aid us or hinder us (i.e. Positive words cause crystallization on a molecular level where as negative words cause sludge). It is important to recognize that negative self-talk and thought is not without harm. Negative thought and talk can often lead to things such as increased blood pressure, stress, depression, anxiety, and inflammation – specifically in our neurons. When you have positive thought and talk, you can completely change not only your circumstances but how you feel about them. You can also decrease inflammation and make it easier to choose to be happy regardless of your situation.

Forgiveness

A lot of thinking begin to roll their eyes when I say the word forgiveness. However it is not always about forgiving someone else (though most of the time it can be), it can also mean forgiving ourselves. I find that more often than not there is an element of bitterness, anger, or resentment that people do not recognize is preventing them from having the life they want to have. In addition there are plenty of health effects that can manifest from an attitude of forgiveness (see my previous blog: https://www.plattsvilledoctor.ca/forgiveness-and-health/). If you are struggling with this, whether it is forgiving yourself or another, we can work on some exercises in my office that may help.

Have you benefited from reading this blog? Know someone that would benefit as well? Share, Like, Comment, or Tweet this article, and let me know what you think.

Some of the information provided above may not be appropriate for everyone, please consult with your doctor before trying any of the above. If you are interested in Naturopathic Medicine and wanting a different approach to your health care needs, contact Dr. Elisha Cook ND by calling 519-537-7058 and book your appointment today!

Grieving: How to Cope and Make it Through

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Depression - Narrative photoLoss can be a hard thing for many people. It does not simply mean a death, but can extend itself to a loss in a role that you played, a loss in a job, a loss of a piece of your identity. Regardless of how you identify loss, it can be difficult to cope with, adjust to, and move through. Grieving is the process by which we work through that loss. We are all different and process a loss differently. This is normal and okay. It is okay to be angry, sad, etc. What is important, is that you give yourself the space to feel those emotions, acknowledge them, and sit with them.

Get Support

During this time, it is also important to seek support. Many people find it challenging knowing what to do when someone experiences a loss. Often they may acknowledge the loss and express sympathy. Not knowing what will best suit you, many draw back and wait (of course this is not true for everyone or every situation). Thus it is important to ask for support and help when you need it. This is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of being human.

Take Care of Yourself

Taking care of yourself is vital during this time, though it may be challenging. Important considerations include eating healthy, making sure to eat or not eat too much, getting an adequate amount of sleep, drinking enough water, and exercising. All of these can help not only to boost mood, but can help to protect your body from getting colds or flues, which may be more likely. Attempting to follow regular routines may be beneficial during this time depending on the loss that you incurred. In this case, if regular routines are more harmful, it may be beneficial to get professional advice on strategies that would best help you during this difficult time. Taking care of yourself includes forgiving yourself. It is important to forgive yourself for any last words or actions (whether unspoken/undone or not) that may have happened, or past events that may have happened. Events cannot be changed, but what we can do is appreciate the experience that happened, learn from it, and let go of the negativity that we may carry with it.

Seek Professional Help when Needed

Finally, it is important to see extra help when needed. If you feel that the loss is too much to handle please see counselling or extra help. If you begin to think “life is not worth living” or thoughts similar to this reach out. There is help and there is hope. The Canadian Mental Health Association is available 24 hours to receive any calls! In addition, the following resources may be helpful and provide other things to consider when grieving:

https://www.cmha.ca/mental_health/grieving/

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief-loss/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm

Have you benefited from reading this blog? Know someone that would benefit as well? Share, Like, Comment, or Tweet this article, and let me know what you think.

Some of the information provided above may not be appropriate for everyone, please consult with your doctor before trying any of the above. If you are interested in Naturopathic Medicine and wanting a different approach to your health care needs, contact Dr. Elisha Cook ND by calling 519-537-7058 and book your appointment today!

Forgiveness and Health

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ForgivenessMental health is a huge area of concern and public interest in recent decades. In particular, there has been much research into the effect our attitudes can have on our health. Forgiveness is one of those attitudes that can greatly affect our health in the moment and later on in life. This does not only include forgiveness of others but also includes forgiveness of ourselves. I would challenge you to explore your own thoughts and see if there are any areas of your life where you notice patterns of un-forgiveness. I do recognize that this is not an easy or comfortable process, but I challenge you to consider it and if you feel led to act to remedy the un-forgiveness, then do so for the benefit of your health.

Signs of Un-forgiveness

These may be some useful questions to ask yourself when reflecting on a particularly harmful situation or event that has transpired against you. For more information on un-forgiveness please see the source below from which this questionnaire was retrieved.

  • When you think of that person, does your heart leap up with love and joy for him?
  • Do you desire to have fellowship with them or do you try to avoid them?
  • Do you have no blame or condemnation of them or for them?
  • Do you say or feel in your heart: “I forgive them, but I don’t have to like them”?
  • Do you still make up speeches of what you are going to say to them, or what you should have said to them?
  • Do you still think that they should hurt or should pay for what they have done to you?
  • Do you still think of ways to get even with them?
  • Do you sometimes think hard thoughts and have to repent, only to think those hard thoughts again and have to repent, over and over?
  • Do you have strong emotional reactions when you think of or see the person who hurt you?
  • Can you sincerely pray for this person and bless them, sincerely desiring to see them blessed?
  • Can you, and do you honestly rejoice when good things happen for the person who wounded you?

Source: http://www.thhmi.org/Transformation_and_Sanctification/Symptoms_of_Unforgiveness/

Health Benefits of Forgiveness

  • Decreased stress
  • Improved mood
  • Positive attitude
  • Improved conflict management
  • Improved sleep quality
  • Decreased heart rate
  • Decreased pain
  • Improved overall health
  • Improved life satisfaction

Practical Ways to Incorporate Forgiveness

It is important to understand that a lot of these exercises will not work if there is not a direct intention behind them. If these are done just for the sake of doing them, it is similar to not having done them at all. It is important to be mindful and have a direct intention to forgive and be well when practicing these exercises. In addition, a lot of these exercises are not easy and they can even hurt when you do them. Embrace the discomfort, but remember to work within what is safe for you. If it is not wise to confront someone about the hurt, for example, do not do so. I also encourage individuals that sometimes you have to “fake it until you make it”. What I mean by this is that in some cases you try to forgive someone, but deep down inside you know you can’t. It may then be helpful to start speaking that you forgive them until you feel you are ready to forgive. It may also be important to seek more help on this issue from a spiritual leader, counsellor, psychologist, etc.

  1. Forgive quickly. When someone wrongs you, as hard as it might be, attempt to forgive quickly. This will prevent any bitterness, anger, or negative thoughts from setting in.
  2. Confront the person who has done you wrong and express forgiveness. Please note that this may not be safe or wise in all situations.
  3. Write down “I forgive _______” on a piece of paper.
  4. Do something kind for the person who hurt you.
  5. Speak out loud “I forgive myself. I am not mistakes”, or “I forgive _____. They are not their mistakes.”
  6. Pray for help to forgive.
  7. Consider the perspective of the other individual and attempt to empathize with them. Literally getting up and switching to a different seat may be helpful.

Have you benefitted from reading this blog? Know someone that would benefit as well? Share, Like, Comment, or Tweet this article, and let me know what you think.

Some of the information provided above may not be appropriate for everyone, please consult with your doctor before trying any of the above. If you are interested in Naturopathic Medicine and wanting a different approach to your health care needs, contact Elisha Cook via the contact portion of this website.

Source:

http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.3109/09638280903166360?journalCode=idre20

http://pss.sagepub.com/content/12/2/117.short

http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10865-005-3665-2